Why Stephen Can't Come to the Computer

Stephen wants me to tell you that he can’t be on the computer because he is overwhelmed by housework and yard work. Of course, he isn’t exactly slaving away at it constantly either. He works during the commercial breaks. Today SyFy was running an “All Saints’ Hospital.” marathon Of course, if you ask him, he thinks that he is slaving away under the merciless searing hot sun.

I had my first check up on my ankle with my podiatrist yesterday. Dr. Van Voris exclaimed with delight over how well my ankle was doing. I got my first real cast, a non-weight-bearing cast. I got a purple case because purple is my favorite color, and as a Royal Grand Duchess, I have a royal dispensation that I may wear that purple. I know that there will be those who will jokingly accuse me of deliberately breaking my ankle just so I can wear purple. I have an answer for them. I shall simply ask them if they realize what a hassle it is to have to be asking for help all the damn time, and not be able to go certain places in the house because the doorway isn’t wide enough to accommodate my wheelchair. And not to be able to take a shower and wash my hair because I can’t get my cast wet.

My social worker is no help either. The county is so backed up that I can’t have any household help for 6 whole months. By then I’ll be up and around. Yesterday all kinds of strangers helped me at the hospital. A couple helped me to the place where I had my appointment. A man held the door of the restroom open so I could go in there. When I was done, and my ride was in front, one of the valet parking guys helped me into the car and folded up my wheelchair. And lest I forget there was the guy next door who came along as we were struggling to leave, folded my wheelchair and stowed it in the back seat for us. If any of you is online I want give you my heartfelt thanks and say those were real mitzvahs you performed yesterday. The wheel of karma is on your side.

Right now I’m waiting for my physical therapist to arrive. My regular one is on vacation so a substitute is picking up the slack. I wonder what she’ll teach me today. Three weeks ago when they operated on my ankle, I was not put out. I was given a spinal, which is a lot like an epidural, in that you’re awake, but numb from the waist down. I decided to think about something else, one of my stories or something our groups. I have the power of dissociating at will. I know others have this power as a result of abuse, but I acquired it via a less violent route. I would do it in class whenever I was bored, which was quite often. I would snap out of it if the teacher asked a question. Then I would play another game. Knowing as I did that the teacher wouldn’t call on me, but on some dumb boy who wouldn’t know the answer, I would continue to act as though I were not paying attention. I drove my teachers crazy, and they never caught onto what I was doing.

Back to the operation: I came back to the present, the here and now, and heard dome clanking noises. I realized that they were still working on my ankle. They finished putting in the plate and sewed me up. They put me in a temporary cast, and wheeled me to the recovery room. Then after a little while, they wheeled me to the room where I would be until Wednesday afternoon. During the wheeling about, we made a lot of Disneyland jokes (Keep your hands inside the ride at all times!) Nobody brushed off my attempts at humor, or told me that I should be serious because this is a serious situation. Everybody joined in the joking. They all seemed to realize that I went to humor because this is how I stay alive. In fact, they seemed to enjoy having me around. Stephen told me that the times he’s gone to the ER they’ve handled him rather roughly, or at least I got that feeling from his description, and general attitude towards hospitals in general. But they treated me gently. I think it’s because they took offense to his political stance, which he makes no secret of. It might also be because he reeks. Also, I was at a private membership hospital. They have to treat us nice. I think that getting on Kaiser again was the best thing I ever did. I’m working on getting Stephen on Kaiser too. Kaiser is the oldest HMO in the nation, and the most experienced.

Well, I think I’ll wind this up and post it. The upshot of all this is that Stephen would be online if he could. Personally, if I were he, while my phone charges, instead of reinstalling “Pirates!”, I would be online renewing my relationships, but he says he needs kill therapy, so that’s the way it is.

What's Up with Me

Stephen tells me that you folks have been wondering what has happened to me since last I was here. Well, the short answer is “Life.” More immediately, I’ve been struggling with gallstones. I’d been having what I thought were Gerd attacks, but what I now believe to be gall stone attacks. During the most severe ones, the pain will get so bad that I’ll black out. This has happened to me three times. Once I had a sandwich, and had a bad attack. I gave up eating raw onions after that, believing it to be a GERD attack. The other two times, it resulted in a broken ankle, 2 years ago my left, this last time my right ankle. I’m kind of angry at the surgery scheduling department because if they’d scheduled me in a timely way, I might not have had the attack that led to my broken ankle. When I called the number I was given, I couldn’t even leave a message in Jennifer McCleary’s box because it was full. I’m so angry right now that I’m going to see what I can do to get her at least reprimanded for neglect. And I’m naming names. So if anyone reading this knows her tell her she’s been neglecting her job.

In other news, I’m working on a story at the behest of my psychotherapist. I started on it about 3 years ago, but didn’t get started on it then. When my therapist expressed an interest in it, I decided to go ahead and do it. Right now I’m doing background notes.to set up the story & the characters.

The cats have been a great comfort. They always know when one or the other of us is ailing, and will come and try to comfort us. Well, turn about is fair play, because when the twins, Dr. Livingston, and Pyewacket were spayed, I comforted them when they gpt home from being picked up. Oh, sure, we laughed at them when they were wobbly, but I comforted them too. This consisted of holding them, scratching or stroking them, and saying nonsense things to them in a tender voice. It doesn’t matter what you say, because they can’t understand Human anyway. The important part is the tone of voice you say it in. It should be a soothing tone.

The Renaissance events to which I have gone have been very interesting. At the most recent one, the 19th and 20th of June, There was a wedding of a couple of friends of mine. Queen is out and about. There came a man wearing the flag of a foreign land. He was wearing a Hawaiian shirt. For some reason, HRH finds this to be offensive to his sight, and so it is a drubable offense. I became quite imperious, and said,

“Arrest that man!” One of the MacDonalds caught up to him, and brought him into court.”

“You, sirrah, are wearing the colors of a foreign land. The penalty for this is drubbing.”
“
I grabbed the water pitcher at my right hand, descended the dais, and had the man kneel. I then poured water over his head, not touching the offensive shirt at all. Then I gave him a pardon, and a favor. When HRH and HRM returned, I told them both that I had done a drubbing, and they were both delighted for me. HRH was especially delighted. I told him,

“If it please Your Highness, I’ve tasted power and I want more. Oooooh, but that was fun!”

HRH and HRM both chortled and said, “We hope you get to do more.”. .

After that event, I spent a week house-sitting and forging a bond with a funny little dog who acts like a cat except that she comes when called, which no cat will ever do. .I came home, and started in on my story. All was proceeding well until July 4th , when I had that fateful gallstone attack. I finally heard from Jennifer today, so I’m a little mollified, but not completely. Now that I’m resigned to losing it, I want to get it done and over with. But I suppose that August is soon enough, given that I just had surgery less than 2 weeks ago. I was conscious, but surgery is surgery, and not to be undertaken lightly.

We’re planning on doing a post for one of our groups here (Grove of Ogham) and then going to MySpace. We’re hoping you’ll follow us there.